Stuff's coming... promise!

So, I am crushed with a huge amount of Eagles jersey sewing right now. Which is good for me and for my friend who owns the business, not so good for blog or book writing. On top of that i am sleep deprived and battling this stupid cold that everyone seems to have come down with.   Please bear (or is it bare? ) with me because I promise I have new blogs coming soon. I am working on a one about my recent lawyer trip. In trying to trademark  and deal with my copyrights for the book an interesting and disturbing issue came up...


Also - I am working on a blog about being sick and lonely... LOL woohoo sounds uplifting doesn't it? But come on you know me well enough by now to know that it will end up being funny or positive. Promise.


I have a few other tricks up my sleeve as well! I should be able to post something tomorrow (friday).


Then i will get back on an every other day schedule again. I miss it - the writing and the creativity. 

"The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible. " ~Vladimir Nabakov

Too much time to think can be dangerous...

So spent a lot of time with myself in my head this past weekend and week. Sewing all nighters for Eagles jerseys means music's playing, brains working and thoughts I manage to push aside most of the time pop into my brain to be dissected and examined. The psychologist/coach part of me says "good for you! Embrace those thoughts, deal with them and get rid of them..."  The strong silent part of me says "hide those feelings & stop thinking about this shit- make it go away" . Then there's the stoic Irish part of me which says "Feckin shite  -drink a damn beer & get the hell over it already girl". (my irish part likes beer...)


 All of it pisses me off and makes me want to write about it but I find that I am self censoring myself which pisses me off even more. I should be able to talk about anything I want on my blog - after all this is me damn it... BUT something's holding me back so i turn to music.It's all in the words... A few songs that are speaking to me  - that I will allow to speak FOR me here...for now.


Kenny Chesney - Somewhere With You



Missy Higgins - Where I Stood, acoustic live version



Mumford & Sons - White Blank Page



Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova - Falling Slowly from the movie Once

It's all my fault...Really!

So, my birds did not win today.Eagles 26, Da Bears 31. So it wasn't a total blow out and we rallied in the 4th quarter like we always used to do in the old days. But Vick threw an interception and fumbled 4 times. On top of that, friggin DeSean Jackson was playing like Betty White trying not to break her 83 yr old hips. WTF?? Seriously, I like Jackson but if he's going to play like he's afraid to get hit then get the hell off the field. 


It's okay tho, I mean I am not your typical Philly sports fan. I am not trashing the team and talking about how they suck and lamenting my poor damaged soul because I bleed green. What I am doing, is taking full responsibility for the loss. Yep you heard me...um read me right. I accept responsibility for todays loss, It is all my fault. (btw - write this day down on your calendar, I don't admit total fault often... I am a woman after all)


So how is this loss today my fault you ask? well I'll tell ya... I let my team down today. It was busy from my wake up on. Shopping with my mom and the kid. Then my first mistake... it's 1pm and we're headed for Applebees for lunch and my mom says "Do you want me to drop you off at home so you can watch the game ?"  I tell her no worries, it's a 4:15 game because the Eagles got bank right now - ads for our games are at a $$$ premium and everyone wants to watch Vick. Then I say..."Even if it was at one, I'd be ok eating lunch and missing the first half." DUN DUN DUUUUH. 


Jinx #1 - Me miss a game? What the hell was I thinking. And i said it out loud. 


Then I get home and it's cleaning and decorating and tree trimming time. BUT first i have to run out and pick up my Eagles nameplates from the boss man. Gotta do some sewing (which i should be doing right now but why work when I can procrastinate...) And because of that trip into town, I miss the kick-off.


 Jinx #2. I never... EVER! EVER miss a kick off. If I am out for the game I must have a miller lite in my hand. At home I must be on the couch to watch it. 


And when I got home, 3 minutes after kick-off I couldn't find the damn tv remote. So i spent another 3 minutes looking for that. then Finally - game on , ass on couch, let's play some football. Half-way thru the first quarter already - or at least it felt like it.


Beginning of the second quarter, I got things I have to do, so I start doing them as I watch the game...yeah, that would be


Jinx #3. I don't DO THINGS during a football game. I sit, and watch. Every second. Even if I am at the bar. I may go outside for a cigarette but I watch thru the windows.


Oh sweet Jebus... we are in trouble now. But wait... there's more. 7 minutes into the 3rd quarter I realize I AM NOT WEARING MY GAME JERSEY!! NO. JERSEY. ON.  Holy shit!! I had an Eagles shirt on but thats NOT a jersey.

Jinx#4. No JERSEY???? I always wear my jersey. even at home. I know...I am hanging my head in shame!


So again I say, I was wearing an Eagles shirt but a long sleeved tee IS NOT A JERSEY!!! and wait what the hell... where are my Eagles earrings...NOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Jinx #5. I always wear my Eagles helmet earrings. Shit, shit shit I can only find one.

How can I put them on so the helmets face away from my face (we were playing away... if we are home they face in, towards my face - makes sense right? Whatever...shut up) So now, knowing how badly I have screwed up for my team, it's half way thru the 4th and the kid says  "We are getting beat and it's time to decorate the tree. Can't we just put on Christmas music?" and I say...


Oh God the shame... I say..."OKAY!" 

~That is not football on that tv!

Jinx #6. I say OKAY?? I never stop watching a game. Ever. Even if I am at the stadium I stay until the final second ticks off. 


And as for the kid... well that 'stop watching when we are losing' attitude doesn't come from me. i blame her father!

Then finally, I realize that I haven't changed my facebook profile picture, OR mentioned the game in my status update. I mean COME ON... 

we might as well just not even played today because

Jinx #7. I always put up my 69 jersey profile pic and say something profound and moving like"Go Birds" or "E...A...G...L...E...S... EAGLES!"  Earth shattering stuff my words are... and now you know why I want to be a writer.

Look at that, 7 Jinxes, 7... just like Vick's number...7. Coincidence?? I think not my friend. I think not.

Sooooo there you have it. The Eagles lost today, and because of my selfish Christmas spirit, and total lack of Fan-ship, I jinxed it all and caused the loss. Really, I did. So It's all my fault. I promise to not let this happen again. I've sent the team my apologies and now I apologize here, on my blog, on the inter-webs, for all to see.


But, my tree is friggin awesome!! 

It's the end of an era... you might say - RIP Philadelphia's Spectrum

"She glances at the photo, and the pilot light of memory flickers in her eyes."  ~Frank Deford


Oh Spectrum, the stories you could tell. Anyone who grew up in the Philly area from 1967 on has most likely been to a concert, Flyers game, Phantoms game, or some other type of event at the Spectrum. Pearl Jam played the last concert there in 2009 but still it stood, like a forgotten friend, in the shadows of the Comcast Spectacor/FU/Wachovia/Well's Fargo Center (or whatever it's called now) and the Linc and Citizens Bank Park. It was the place to go and growing up in the 70's & 80's believe me, we went.


I remember my first time there - obviously before my serious clown-phobia kicked in - was to see the circus. It was huge and busy and something was going on in every corner of the place. But of course my brother and I were more interested in seeing the elephants take a crap then in the highwire acts lol. 

We didn't have a lot of money growing up (tho I didn't know it...ever) so I'm not sure how mom & dad managed the tickets but they did. My first taste of the Spectrum. And my last circus. Now you couldn't pay me to go to one.


After that it was 1976 and John Denver in concert for my 13th birthday. (i'll wait while you do the math.....


done? YES that makes me 47 years old UGH! anyway...) Just mom and i went to this one and it was the coolest thing ever! John Denver, right down there on stage singing. I knew he could see me way up in nosebleed section. I just knew it. 

Man that was one of my favorite gifts. What?? I was 13 and so not cool...I am way cooler now. Really.I am... ok fine! Maybe not but I like to think I am! So humor me!


Then the infamous sneak away concerts... you know the deal - 15 years old - you tell your parents your going to stay at so & so's house- in my case it was Denise Zawacki's house - and instead you take a train from Paoli to Philly and the subway to the stadium complex. It was 1978-79 and believe me it was much safer back then. Anyway 5 of us girls sneaking into philly to see Heart in concert at the Spectrum. Most of us weren't allowed to go you see, because as every one knew, Heart was a band made up of Charles Manson followers and they worshiped the devil. Yep, that's seriously what our parents believed and why they said we couldn't go. But Denise and I just had to be cool and sneak off and we got away with it too.

Come to think of it - that may have also been the year I lost my virginity too..LOL we'll blame that on the evil teachings of Heart as well.  I still have the concert baseball sleeved t-shirt I bought. Of course I said my friend at school bought it for me.


Next, later that same year was the Doobie Brothers. God that dreamy Michael McDonald and my personal favorite, lead guitarist Patrick Simmons. 

We didn't have to sneak to this one, since both my parents were big fans of the Doobies. But we did sneak in on the train again. When we got there our four floor seats were separated by the huge sound mixer machine so we asked the security guard if we could be moved back a few rows so we could sit together. I'll never forget him saying follow me and we'll fix this. Next thing we knew, we were in the first row.  On the floor.   Directly under Michael McDonald's key board. Close enough, and I swear I am not exaggerating, to reach up and touch his foot if we wanted too. Fan-friggin-tastic. We were on the end over towards the left of the stage sitting next to security - a bunch of cute ass guys if I remember, but we were only interested in the Doobie Brothers. At one point, Patrick Simmons reached over and handed me a carnation he had been wearing in his lapel. I mean seriously , if your a 15yr old girl, does it get any better then that? Hell this 47 year old girl would have loved it too LOL!!


Then there were the Flyers games. The seats in Wachovia (whatever) now are better then the Spectrum but you can't beat the history in the Spectrum. Thats where we won the cup for God's sake. 

My best friend Brian's mom had season tickets to the games and would let me use a pair of tickets to impress whoever I was interested in at the moment. The one that sticks out was John Carrigan...ahhh handsomest boy in school. A senior when I was a Junior or a Jr when i was a soph... either way he drove and was older. And did i mention handsome? LOL I mean really what guy will say NO when you ask him to a Flyers game. Ranks up there with one of my best dates ever!! (Sorry John Carrigan if you're reading this but I did have a major high school crush on you LOL) I still remember him calling the house to tell me to dress warmly since it would be cold. Um Hello! Does it get any sweeter then that to a 16yr old girl? I also remember all the people and thinking Please God don't let me get lost cause I will never find him again LOL. 


John Carrigan does real estate now so if you are looking for a Realtor in southeastern PA look him up and use him. http://www.johnnycrealestate.com/ Hey if he has to read about my high school crush on him the least I can do is give him some free marketing!


So many memories - I saw Phil Collins there and remember getting goosebumps when he sang In the Air tonight. That was after I got married and had the kid. A fun date night for me and the hubby. And then the last time I was there, was in 1998 I believe. To see Bush! God I loved that band - Please,  Gavin Rossdale? Good God he was yummy!! 

Every song on that damn album spoke to me. Razorblade Suitcase. Machinehead was my jam  ♫Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out♫

That became my mantra when I was going thru the divorce and custody bullshit.BREATHE! Hell it still is!  I even got a personalized license plate when my divorce became final that said breathe out. well it said BRTHOUT which some people thought meant Birth out - but that's a whole other story LOL.My friend Dan Gross and I and the guy I was so in love with at the time Rich all went and spent the night outside in line for tickets. It was February. Yeah... I know. But it was on my bucket list of things to do after my divorce and I did it. Dan, my dear dear friend, probably doesn't remember too much of it. LOL We left a birthday party for my roommate Christine to head down to Philly and while Rich and I decided early on to stay somewhat sober, Dan was a late addition to our adventure and drank like a champ pouring Dan Gross drinks at the party. It was worth it tho - we froze our asses off and met some fantastic people and 13 hours outside in the cold scored us some killer seats to see a group we all loved.


So yeah, a little wistful at the thought of losing such a fantastic place but I'm happy that I have so many fantastic memories from there. Because while the Spectrum falls down and gets carted away, my memories will never fade.  RIP Philadelphia Spectrum! Thanks for all the good times

Beach bound w/ a spotty internet connection

Finishing up my sewing and getting ready to hit the bed in an hour or so. Beach bound tomorrow and the internet signal down there is spotty at best.I have to piggy back or borrow time on someone else's open line so I may not be posting a blog until Monday night. 


The time i actually get a signal will probably be used building "the baby". So have a fantastic weekend all and make the most of it. I know I will! ~S 

Random thoughts, beer, evil men and fabulous hair...

Oh it is late and I should so be in bed but I am trying to stick to my blog schedule and  i realize I haven't written anything since Monday Night so here it is 1:17 am and I am slightly , mildly buzzed and I am writing my blog. Hmmm. What random things can I discuss tonight that I will regret in the morning. LOL very few things experienced in my life, buzzed at night, have been regretted in the morning. What can I say, I make great late night buzzed decisions. 


So got the hair did and my girl Kelly McMahon at Hair Cuttery in West Goshen hooked it up. Something about a fabulous new sexy haircut that makes a woman feel fabulous. I hated my hair - very MOM like.... and I needed a sexy new flirty cut. Lots of layers etc. She did a fantastic job and I LOVE IT! Tho of course i haven't done it myself yet so hopefully I can pull off the look on my own.


Heard from a friend tonight who's far away and I miss him. It was nice to hear his voice! Would have been better to see him in the flesh... so to speak... but alas not to be. 


Looking forward so much to going away to the beach this weekend. No kid, no dog (tho i love them both) and 4 days to simply be. To write, to think, to breathe. I need it. I deserve it... and it's the beach so of course I crave it. Hoping my girl Tami stops down for the night - do some adult art therapy (aka jigsaw puzzles and coloring books) drink some wine. It's the little things. Spending some time with mom and dad which is always a great thing.


Also YAY ME - celebrated the new website tonight - www.thisismedamnit.com. Wow - I am still a bit blown away about the realness of it. Dealing with the building of it, the SEO words to make it show up on google and yahoo search engines. But that's part of what I used to do at my last job so I have a bit of an idea of how to make it work. I am lucky to have some fantastic and supportive friends. Friends who believe in me and say woohoo! BUT... Still get the looks and the "Really's?" and WTF's?? from people in my life who have no idea what I have been doing., I like to see the surprise in their eyes, and the doubt. The doubt fuels me. Yep I am writing a book... surprise. Yep, got a website... and building it myself - imagine that.  I love it. It's almost like a challenge from the doubters, to prove them wrong. But then I don't spend too much energy worrying about that. I know what I can do. I know what I have lived thru, survived in my life. And yet I still thrive. So yeah, I don't worry about the doubters. They will be the ones who say 'Hey give me a book for free. I don't want to buy it... I was behind you all along'. Sure okay. 


And speaking of surviving  - Out for happy hour tonight - which is an unusual occurrence. I usually head out after 8. I like to do it every now and then so I can catch up with the regulars at the Stone. Such great people... and who shows up while I am riding high on my fabulous hair and my brand new baby ...I mean website but the EVIL ONE. Yes THAT evil one. You know the guy that tried to kill me and then stalked me for a year... The one I hid from for 3 years...yeah, I guess he randomly stops into the Blarney and tonight was one of his nights. But you know what? I didn't panic. My heart didn't race (well a little but not a lot). I didn't have an anxiety attack... in fact I didn't even tell anyone. I sat in my seat and laughed at jokes and talked across the bar. And then my phone rang - my far away friend I mentioned above. And I went outside to talk to him, oblivious to the asshole in the bar. And who folllows me out but said evil asshole. But guess what? I pretended to ignore him and I talked to my friend. And as I hung up and went to walk inside I saw him heading towards me. No one else there, just me and the guy who tried to kill me... and I hung up my cell and opened the door and walked inside. And I never saw the evil one again. I guess he left... 


But I didn't care, because I had my friends and my book and my website and my fabulous hair. And the song in my head that kept playing ... ♫ ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna slow me down....♫ 

A little change is good... a lot of change is Fan-friggin-tastic!

“The key to change... is to let go of fear.”~Rosanne Cash


Soooo I changed the blog background etc. You likey? Time to try on something new. It doesn't make my butt look big does it? My old set up was messing up the videos and had a lot of empty space so I wanted to widen things up.


Also, on Wednesday... you ready for this? I am buying my domain name for the book website! WOOHOO!!! I spent some time doing research this weekend and found the webhost AND my domain name is available. I will be going DOT COM baby!!! Very exciting!


This of course means that I have to stick with the name of the book I have chosen which is so friggin final but okay too. I haven't thought about calling it anything else in the past 9 months so I guess the name will stick.


Now I have to decide if I should move everything over to the dot-com site or keep it totally separate for the book. That's a whole other decision I am not prepared to make right now LOL. God forbid I over tax myself.


I am also going to buy staceygatescharter.com as well. Not sure what I am doing with that one yet. And in case you were wondering, umm no, I did not win the lottery. My webhost (as most web hosts are) is extremely affordable. Like, $3.50 a month affordable. which is what...$42.00 bucks a year. Or $84.00 a year for both sites. It will be my Christmas present to myself! I am going with one of the top 10 web hosts available and am very excited! I will tell more about the host and the domain name once the deal is done... Promise!


Hey what can I say I'm Irish and don't want to jinx anything. We are a superstitious group.


That means I will have 2 websites, this blog (if i don't convert it over), my personal Facebook page and my Spread the Positivity Now Facebook page. WHEW!!  It also means this weekend coming up will be full of website design and writing. Which is a great thing since I will be heading to the beach from Friday thru Monday. Then with a little luck I will also be at the beach for the weekend after Thanksgiving as well.


So the times, they are a changin' and it's a wonderful thing!!


“Change is the essence of life.Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.” ~Unknown


...and that quote just about says it all, doesn't it?