“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package..."
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Too much time to think can be dangerous...
So spent a lot of time with myself in my head this past weekend and week. Sewing all nighters for Eagles jerseys means music's playing, brains working and thoughts I manage to push aside most of the time pop into my brain to be dissected and examined. The psychologist/coach part of me says "good for you! Embrace those thoughts, deal with them and get rid of them..." The strong silent part of me says "hide those feelings & stop thinking about this shit- make it go away" . Then there's the stoic Irish part of me which says "Feckin shite -drink a damn beer & get the hell over it already girl". (my irish part likes beer...)
All of it pisses me off and makes me want to write about it but I find that I am self censoring myself which pisses me off even more. I should be able to talk about anything I want on my blog - after all this is me damn it... BUT something's holding me back so i turn to music.It's all in the words... A few songs that are speaking to me - that I will allow to speak FOR me here...for now.
Kenny Chesney - Somewhere With You
Missy Higgins - Where I Stood, acoustic live version
Mumford & Sons - White Blank Page
Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova - Falling Slowly from the movie Once
Monday, November 29, 2010
It's all my fault...Really!
So, my birds did not win today.Eagles 26, Da Bears 31. So it wasn't a total blow out and we rallied in the 4th quarter like we always used to do in the old days. But Vick threw an interception and fumbled 4 times. On top of that, friggin DeSean Jackson was playing like Betty White trying not to break her 83 yr old hips. WTF?? Seriously, I like Jackson but if he's going to play like he's afraid to get hit then get the hell off the field.
It's okay tho, I mean I am not your typical Philly sports fan. I am not trashing the team and talking about how they suck and lamenting my poor damaged soul because I bleed green. What I am doing, is taking full responsibility for the loss. Yep you heard me...um read me right. I accept responsibility for todays loss, It is all my fault. (btw - write this day down on your calendar, I don't admit total fault often... I am a woman after all)
So how is this loss today my fault you ask? well I'll tell ya... I let my team down today. It was busy from my wake up on. Shopping with my mom and the kid. Then my first mistake... it's 1pm and we're headed for Applebees for lunch and my mom says "Do you want me to drop you off at home so you can watch the game ?" I tell her no worries, it's a 4:15 game because the Eagles got bank right now - ads for our games are at a $$$ premium and everyone wants to watch Vick. Then I say..."Even if it was at one, I'd be ok eating lunch and missing the first half." DUN DUN DUUUUH.
Jinx #1 - Me miss a game? What the hell was I thinking. And i said it out loud.
Then I get home and it's cleaning and decorating and tree trimming time. BUT first i have to run out and pick up my Eagles nameplates from the boss man. Gotta do some sewing (which i should be doing right now but why work when I can procrastinate...) And because of that trip into town, I miss the kick-off.
Jinx #2. I never... EVER! EVER miss a kick off. If I am out for the game I must have a miller lite in my hand. At home I must be on the couch to watch it.
And when I got home, 3 minutes after kick-off I couldn't find the damn tv remote. So i spent another 3 minutes looking for that. then Finally - game on , ass on couch, let's play some football. Half-way thru the first quarter already - or at least it felt like it.
Beginning of the second quarter, I got things I have to do, so I start doing them as I watch the game...yeah, that would be
Jinx #3. I don't DO THINGS during a football game. I sit, and watch. Every second. Even if I am at the bar. I may go outside for a cigarette but I watch thru the windows.
Oh sweet Jebus... we are in trouble now. But wait... there's more. 7 minutes into the 3rd quarter I realize I AM NOT WEARING MY GAME JERSEY!! NO. JERSEY. ON. Holy shit!! I had an Eagles shirt on but thats NOT a jersey.
Jinx#4. No JERSEY???? I always wear my jersey. even at home. I know...I am hanging my head in shame!
So again I say, I was wearing an Eagles shirt but a long sleeved tee IS NOT A JERSEY!!! and wait what the hell... where are my Eagles earrings...NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Jinx #5. I always wear my Eagles helmet earrings. Shit, shit shit I can only find one.
How can I put them on so the helmets face away from my face (we were playing away... if we are home they face in, towards my face - makes sense right? Whatever...shut up) So now, knowing how badly I have screwed up for my team, it's half way thru the 4th and the kid says "We are getting beat and it's time to decorate the tree. Can't we just put on Christmas music?" and I say...
Oh God the shame... I say..."OKAY!"
~That is not football on that tv!
Jinx #6. I say OKAY?? I never stop watching a game. Ever. Even if I am at the stadium I stay until the final second ticks off.
And as for the kid... well that 'stop watching when we are losing' attitude doesn't come from me. i blame her father!
Then finally, I realize that I haven't changed my facebook profile picture, OR mentioned the game in my status update. I mean COME ON...
we might as well just not even played today because
Jinx #7. I always put up my 69 jersey profile pic and say something profound and moving like"Go Birds" or "E...A...G...L...E...S... EAGLES!" Earth shattering stuff my words are... and now you know why I want to be a writer.
Look at that, 7 Jinxes, 7... just like Vick's number...7. Coincidence?? I think not my friend. I think not.
Sooooo there you have it. The Eagles lost today, and because of my selfish Christmas spirit, and total lack of Fan-ship, I jinxed it all and caused the loss. Really, I did. So It's all my fault. I promise to not let this happen again. I've sent the team my apologies and now I apologize here, on my blog, on the inter-webs, for all to see.
But, my tree is friggin awesome!!
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