I got this today from my cousin Barb so I can't take credit for writing it.(tho I added all the pics) It's friggin hysterical tho and I haven't seen it all put together like this before. And I agree with every single one of them. If I may add to number 1 tho - every best friend should be a "shovel buddy" in case you die. They should clear out your computer but also should know where all your 'toys' and porn are so they can clear out the drawers and cabinets, BEFORE your family gets there. Oh you laugh now... but you're thinking about it. I have one... Her name is Tami. And if we should happen to be together when we enter those "spirits in the sky" I have a back up too. One of my ex boyfriends who shall remain nameless. But he knows his job. LOL!! I hope you enjoy these as much as I did! ~S
** Adult Truths ***
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history of all porn, if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died..
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories..
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to..
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Crack Houses" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.