Tuesday, August 3, 2010

...there is love

So I still find myself in the middle of the tornado, but the chances of getting sucked into the vortex are less and less each day. As my positivity returns, under circumstances that really should be all negative, I find my inner strength pushing thru. That's really what it's all about tho isn't it? I am a firm believer in the adage that God never gives us more then we can handle. And while we may be tested, He makes sure we always pass with flying colors. 

In the midst of the shitstorm that is life right now, my daughter has lost her job and is now seeking help from crime victims center. The job loss was a necessary evil as she was not performing up to par and would have ended up hurting herself machining. I hurt for my friend who had to fire her but it was inevitable. And she was kept on much longer because of his caring then she probably should have been. For that, I thank him and send him copious amounts of love and respect. I mean that D!!

Her apartment was broken into and what little remained that we needed to get was stolen... a tv that didn't work and 2 working air conditioners. I can only hope that those that did this needed those items more then we did. I can only hope they tripped on the way down the stairs with them too, but that wouldn't be nice now would it. I am getting there but hey... I am still human. 

I find myself surrounded by friends and family who offer to help and I say yes for the first time in my life. Instead of bucking up and pretending I don't need them I embrace whatever they offer. A free beer, things for Kelly, companionship, laughter and love. Every thought, every action, every hug, helps rebuild my soul and give me a shot of pure positivity. 

I also prepare for a joyous occasion, the wedding of two of my favorite people Alex and Jimmy. Something I have looked forward to for so long. I am doing the wedding flowers as well for them and I can't wait to get my hands dirty and design again. The freedom of expression and the ability to make these bouquets for them is so exciting to me. Then there is the time I will get to spend with my friend who is coming to the rehearsal dinner and wedding with me. One of my besties who has been such a calming force in all of this turmoil that a prime rib dinner and free drinks 2 nights in a row doesn't even seem to touch on what i owe him. But then as my friend he feels I owe him nothing... which is why he is so fantastic.

Little by little I see my daughter growing and changing before my eyes. I see her angry and hurt but also loved and taken care of by those who surround her. I see my girl coming back to who she used to be... but it will be a long uphill battle. I thank God she has the strength to do it.

My writing has suffered, as it's difficult to write about positivity now, but this too shall pass.The color is coming back, slowly but surely, into my rainbow of life. la vita è bella   - Life is beautiful! Well it's getting there at least.

No comments:

Post a Comment