Sunday, May 16, 2010


Some people know, most people don't that I started writing after my divorce. Odds and ends, stories of struggles and battles won that ended with laughter and sometimes tears. My legacy if you will, to my (at the time) teenage daughter. A way to show her how I forged, limped and rolled thru life with what I hoped was grace and strength and humor. After my a computer crash last year (can we call it a death ... cause that's what it felt like) i was scrambling to find all the bits and pieces that i had put down. I was lucky to find some of my stuff on websites and blogs on line - the rest on floppy's and cd's and notebooks. So i begin again to put it together (using a back up disc thank you very much) and as I go thru it I come across things I forgot I had written. This is one of those things. I hope you enjoy it and i hope it strikes a chord in you. BTW those are my girls in the pic, Kelly by blood, colleen and crystal by heart. I am a lucky mom!

Advice to my daughter(s)…
" Just say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't expect someone to read your mind,and don't play games with heads or hearts. Don't tell half truths and expect trust when the full truth comes out. Half truths are no better then lies. Don't be cold to someone you care about - indifference hurts more then angry words.

If you are angry - say it! Give the other person the opportunity to explain or make a change for the better. They can't do that unless they know why you're angry. In the same vein - if you care about someone say that too.

When you fall in love - love with your whole heart - and expect the same in return. Realize you deserve that - more than anything. Don't expect to change someone to make them love you - it won't work and love after all is completely out of your hands.

Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different."
--- Copyright © 2000 Stacey Charter


  1. I really appreciate this. I do all of the things you say not to, and I know I shouldn't but it's hard to keep it in mind. Thanks for the reminder, the way you state it is beautiful.

  2. There is a tradition which has reached us - "What comes from the heart reaches the heart; And that which comes from the mouth will not pass beyond the ears."
    From all that has been blogged so far, this is the best and shall remain so forever for the simple reason that its coming straight from the bossom of a grieved mother.
    These words are coming out of the concern for her little one so that the same perils may be avoided which one surely encounters in the journey.

    But what really amazed me is later when i found that you had became totally obsessed in "claiming" these words as your "sole property" & your obvious efforts to claim rights on it!!!!

    c'mon, man - let go of it. The only reason that these words still holds the power n magic in it is because it was an outpouring from the deepest realms of your soul expecting neither any recognition from the masses nor any reward from them - but for YOUR CHILD to benefit from this advice,wasn't it so?

    then why worry - simply let the world at large benefit & just be happy that YOU were the cause that brought ripples to the lake....

    [Ah! was just simply laughing within when i saw how you felt like "blown inside-out" after paying that $30 to the lawyer as consultation fees & even more at your 4 HRS of anxious waiting for his reply!!!]