Another trip down memory lane...

I have been searching, finding and typing up my old poems for the book this week. I wasn't going to add them at first - and they may still not make the cut - but I have to include them in this phase of writing. Plus it's nice to get them off of paper and into the computer.


I find myself saying over and over "If only I had Microsoft Office instead of Open Office". Open office was free tho and Microsoft Office, as we all know , is not.  So for now I use the bare bones Open Office to write. Problem being, nothing recognizes the open office file names. So I can't even up date my resume, let alone transfer my book into a program. I am hoping that when I eventually get Microsoft Office, I can just cut and paste from what I have typed up so far directly into Word. It's either that or I start looking for writers software.  Hmmm, well anyway, sorry, I digress. 


Poems are what we're talking about. So here is a piece of one, that I wrote in October of '96. It's actually quote romantic as I read it again. And funnily enough... wait - is "funnily"  a word? hmm maybe I should say  - And oddly enough, these words still ring true to me today. It's what I search for when I am in a relationship. It's what will rock my world when I find it.

  " I've never even touched you,

but if I close my eyes and see with my heart,

  I know exactly how you feel.

I hear your voice

  and I feel as if I have heard it forever.

You are so new to me, 

  but you're not.

I think my heart knew you,

  before I even saw your face."

~Stacey Gates Charter

kinda in a mood

Sooo time to write the blog - but not in a mood to do it. The money issues and the no job issues weighing me down. i don't let the negative come out too often but today it seems to be rearing it's ugly head. Funny thing is , I know if I had as little as $150.00 in the bank I could bounce out of this. Whoever said money can't buy happiness was never poor. And while it may not be able to buy happiness, it sure as hell makes it easier to feel it. 


Anyway, I found an old journal from high school with poems and quotes in it. So I figured I would put an old poem I wrote here for the blog today. It's sappy and girly and I was 17 when I wrote it. But I remember it like it was yesterday. June 24th, 1981 ahhhh the thoughts of a teenager in love. It was right after graduation and senior week and my boyfriend at the time, Steve Fuchs, (yes... FUCHS pronounced with a long U ... lol) had just left my house to go home to his 10 minutes away, in Malvern.  

Thursday Morning 4:30am
You're gone again.
But that's okay because I know it's not an ending,
just a continuing phase.
It doesn't make it any easier!
I never watch you leave
It's too hard.
I feel as if you're never coming back.
That's dumb I know,
But tell my heart that.
I often wonder if you feel the same.
When you leave my arms,
do you miss me as much as I miss you?
Maybe not...
It's always said that you're loved more then I.
But you're trying I know.
Please don't force your love.
I understand, I think...
We just need time.
I'm not asking you to love me
more then you're able,
and I'm not asking you to pretend.
Please don't.
I'm just asking you to miss me,
as much as I do you.
Maybe someday you'll be able to say you love me,
and really mean it. ~Stacey Gates (Charter)

Oh what I would tell that 17 year old me if I could... 

Funny tho when I read this I could apply it more recently to another boy who used to be in my life. Guess things never really change that much when it comes to matters of the heart. Well at least when it comes to my heart... 

Meh... I used to miss him all the time, but now I only really miss him when I'm sad. Progress my friends!

Fear not my blog readers, this mood shall pass.