Another random getting to know me...

1.You have 10 dollars and need to buy snacks at a gas station: Pringles, tastycakes(kandy kakes) water and Snapple lemon tea

2. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?  A Mermaid

3. Whos your favorite redhead? Kathy Griffin 

4. What do you order when youre at IHOP?  Pancakes and bacon

5. Last book you read?  The Bitch-Proof Suit by De-ann Black and it was good- now reading Summer Rental by Mary Kay Andrews

6. Describe your mood.  Anxious – need job now

7. Describe the last time you were injured? Hit the moving ceiling fan with my hand and cut up and bruised my knuckles – it’s too low LOL

8. Which of your friends would you want to be stuck in a well with? Kent – because he would find a way for us to get out – McGyver!

9. Rock concert or symphony?  Kinda in the mood for a symphony lately

10. What is the wallpaper of your cell phone? Picture of the beach in Lewes

11. Favorite Soda? Pepsi – but I really don’t drink it

12. What type of shirt are you wearing?  Phillies shirt  - harry kalas

13. If you could only use one form of transportation:  Car – most direct

14. Most recent movie you have watched in theatres?  It’s been years – probably the first transformers movie

15. Name an actor/actress/singer you have had the hots for:  Ryan Reynolds – duh…and lately Adam Levine

16. Whats your favorite kind of cake?  Carrot w/ cream cheese icing or funfetti w. chocolate icing

17. What did you have for dinner last night?  Popeye’s chicken and fries

18. Look to your left, what do you see?  My other couch and the windows

19. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?  What are shoes? I live at the beach in flip flops and bare feet

20. Favorite toy as a child?  barbies

21. Do you buy your own groceries?  yes

22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?  Who knows… who cares.

23. Whens the last time you had gummy worms? Couple months ago and I can not remember why LOL 

24. Whats your favorite fruit?  Pineapple

25. Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel?   Hahahaha no

I'm doing cartwheels in my mind... really! LOL

26. Do you like running long distances? Fake knee – not allowed to run

27. Have you ever eaten snow?  Yes – I have even put maple syrup on it

28. What color are your bedsheets?  Blue stripes

29. Whats your favorite flower? tulips 

30. Do you do ballet? Used too – 3 years of it before I hurt my knee. Toe, tap and ballet

31. Do you listen to classical music?  Yes – I am a fan of baroque

32. What is the 1st TV Theme song that pops in your head?  Spiderman and Cheers

33. Do you watch Sponge bob? no

34. What temperature is it outside right now?  Hot – too friggin hot – 82degrees at 2am

35. Do people consider you smart?  Hmmm I don’t know

36. How many piercings do you have?  Ears only - 2

37. Are you signed on AIM? no

38. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together?  Yes – with elmers

39 .How do you feel about your family?  Love LOVE them – and miss them too

here's some of them...

40. Do you have an iPod?  No – sadly I do not

41. What time do you go to bed? Between 12 and 2am

42. What CD is currently in your CD player?  Adele – 21

43. What movie do you know every line to?  Talladega Nights

Shake 'n Bake baby

44. What is your favorite salad dressing?  Good Seasons italian

45. What do you want for Christmas this year?  My family to come to the beach or my bike or a tv

46. What family member/friend lives the farthest from you? Where?  My friend Dan – in Phoeniz AZ

47. Do you like hugs?  yes

Just ramblin' on...

Ok - so when i am sewing, I always have the radio on. Which means I get to hear a lot of songs I then fall in love with. Here are some of them...

 By the way, since the Voice I have become a huge Adam Levine fan... He is positively lickable.  And there are some sexy ass lyrics in this song... 'Take me by the tongue and I'll know you'  HELLO!!!  "I don't need to try to control you, Look into my eyes and I'll own you"... uh yes please! Reminds me of someone I use to sleep with, date, every damn time I hear that line. And before you ask... Yes, yes he did!



Love this song, love her need to buy this cd.  How many times can you say that when someone you're with puts their arms around you you feel like you're home. It's what everyone wants, I think. I know it's what I want...again.
She also sang Jar of Hearts which I loved!





 Matt Nathanson - this dude is having some BANGING sex. Listen to this song. I want a man to sing this song to me and mean it... Another song of his that's really pure sex is 'Higher'. I do enjoy him a lot.


and funally for all or any of you old heads out there reading me... this one brings back soooo many memories. Kashmir! that's all I need to say...

Random thoughts.. or what I've learned since moving to the beach

Taking a break from sewing before I head back to the trenches. While I was sewing last night and today I had all these random thoughts popping in to my brain and decided to write a blog about them. Those who know me intimately will not be surprised by that... my nickname in high school was Spacey after all. Not because I was stupid, but because my brain worked faster then my mouth and I would be 3 steps ahead of myself and expect others to know what I was talking about. Ehhh it's not easy to explain but suffice it to say I have a very active mind. It has a tendency, even without sleep, to go over the speed limit ...so to speak. 


So try and keep up...

~Mornings at the beach are awesome. Much better then mornings in West Chester, in a shared apartment.  I worked thru the night (sewing numbers again)and ran out to Wawa around 5:30am with the dog to stretch my legs and get some food. Nothing beats a beach sunrise and the call of the seagulls. Makes even 5:30 am seem wonderful. Quiet, no traffic,overcast... peace & tranquility.  I didn't realize that I needed that in my life as much as I do.

~I apparently am a morning person now. Based on the above and the fact that I can count on 1 hand the times I have slept past 7:30am.  Unfortunately I am also a night owl. I have yet to give up my Jimmy Fallon/Craig Ferguson love and find myself on the short end of sleep every day. But there is something really cool about going to bed and having your last thought be "I can't wait to get up in the morning."

~Early early this morning - like probably 4am, was the first time I have ever been scared since I moved down here. Again, if you know me well, you will know that me, not being scared in the wee hours of the night/morning is a rare thing. Even tho I lived in a safe area and had the dog... even tho I take meds for the PTSD and intellectually realized my attacker probably wasn't going to come back after me, I was still always afraid. I haven't felt that here. Until last night - and I think it was because of being tired, the thunderstorm that took out the lights and the dog being a freak. Add to that me sitting at the machine with my back to the door - radio on, machine loud and thinking i was hearing noises and I guess it was to be expected. What the years and a lot of research on PTSD have taught me is  that this is an excellent sign... and that I need to move that friggin hulk of a sewing machine so I can see out the door of my room. Problem solved. fear gone. PTSD being conquered! HUGE steps forward.


~I have absolutely no desire to drive back to West Chester in the near future. I actually feel guilty writing that... but it's the truth. I will be missing a few parties because of that but it's the way I feel. Don't get me wrong... I miss my family, my friends, my blarney stone, my wings LOL but not enough to leave my perfect little happy home. Plus i really think it would screw up the dog. he needs to be here for a good solid few months to realize that every day when I get up we aren't driving 2 hours to PA. And that every time I leave the house and him, I will always come back to him. He needs to realize that this is home. Hmmm maybe I do too.


Ok this is going longer than I thought it would and I have to eat something and get back to sewing so I will keep the next few short and sweet...

~When they say Lower Slower Delaware they mean it...  Time, down here, to the locals anyway, is very flexible. If they say they will be there at 10am expect them any time between 10:10 and 11... it's just the way it is.

~ I have a phone interview tomorrow for a job I really want... and I am nervous as hell but at the same time staying positive and trying the "Secret " approach of visualizing that I already have it. Calms me down and make me feel more confident. 


~Before I moved I finally had cell service in Goshen Valley. It was wonderful... Now, ironically,I am cell challenged again in my metal roofed house. arrrggghhh Is this what Alanis Morrisette was talking about.


~In the past week I have been blessed and lucky enough to see most of my family, my friend's Tami, Lori and Vern and can say my homesickness has been cut off at the pass. I love having visitors and I love living alone... Best of both worlds! 


~I am 47 yrs old and I miss my mom. A lot! Miss my dad too but I see him more often. Just found out they are coming down this weekend and I am so excited I am counting the hours.

~ I want and will be getting eventually, a grown up tricycle. Go ahead and laugh, but it's much harder to fall off one of these and I am not the most graceful girl on the planet

~ and last but not least... I am running on 3 hours sleep and have to do it all again tonight and tomorrow. Not bitching but may be spending all day Sunday in bed or on couch. I think I need it.

Dancing with myself...

Sooo I am heading halfway thru my 2nd full week here on my own. Of course this past weekend, my friend Don was here w/ his best friend Joe. So I met up with them on Friday and Sunday. SOooo much fun! 

Then my dad was here from Thursday thru Saturday so I got to cook dinner for him one night and then he took me to dinner the next.
BUT this week, I am a bit homesick.
 “Homesickness is. . . absolutely nothing. Fifty percent of the people in the world are homesick all the time. You don't really long for another country. You long for something in yourself that you don't have, or haven't been able to find.”~Anon


I've been stressed about money and jobs and in between all that I've started really missing, as the quote above says, my family and friends. Not my apartment or West Chester but something I haven't found down here... people to hang out with. Actually more than that , I miss my people to hang out with... I am a little bit lonely.

Amiee and Nicole

Tami

Jenn and Doug

Dre

Kelly and Colleen

Bob and Barb

Vern and Jeffie

Alex

Every house where love abides
And friendship is a guest,
Is surely home, and home sweet home
For there the heart can rest.
~Henry Van Dyke

It is a curious emotion, this certain homesickness…   we are torn between a nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known.

~ Carson McCullers

Then I found this in a post I wrote in December of last year-

And so as this January roles around, and I put Christmas behind me again, I find an excitement for what's to come. Not a sadness at a another year gone by, but pride at what I have been able to accomplish. I've learned that change is good and freeing and healthy! I have an undeniable sense that the best is yet to come and it's just waiting for me to find it. And find it I will. 

So bring on 2011... it's gonna be fantastic!

I will admit that I am proud of myself and what i have accomplished. I proved to myself that 

anything is possible if you want it badly enough. I think that once I get a job (and believe me

I am applying non stop) and meet some people I will feel a bit better. i still know that I made 
the right decision by moving. I still feel that I am exactly where i belong. I have come 
"home" and i own my own place and it is coming together beautifully.

But at 47 years old... I still miss my mom. LOL I guess that all means that I am a blessed
person. i have enough people in my life that i love, and that love me, that I am missing them.

Mom and Dad

And then I go to the beach and it's quiet and beautiful and I float in the warm water of the inlet and I am at peace. I sit on my chair in the sand and watch a school of dolphin playing out in the water and I realize this is what people dream of. This is what people say they want and never get. Somehow I have been lucky enough and determined enough and blessed enough 
to not only find my bliss but to live it.

And that's when i realize, when I know deep in my beach loving soul, that all will work out and it will be wonderful.

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one...

Like that blog title?   ha - a little Jay Z in the hizzzzous... 

This pretty much says it all... Can't sleep...don't ask me! 3:48 am and I am up writing a blog. Not because i was driven from my sleep by anything I had to put down on paper(so to speak) but because I haven't been to sleep yet. I tried - went to bed at 1am exhausted. hell I was exhausted at the beach today. So relaxed all I wanted to do was curl up on the sand and sleep.


Meanwhile, laying beside me, hogging the fan and bed space, is Jack.

Now before you preach - i have no problem letting my dog sleep with me... I do have a problem with him hogging the covers, the fan and with the fact that he sleeps like a baby while I toss and turn like a raw nerve.

So i get up, take some mucinex and antihistamines, almost fall asleep at my kitchen table, and then I blog. Hi! whatcha doing? you sleeping?? damn it!.

I am a little stressed... my cell phone died an untimely death today. I took out the battery to charge it in kelly's lithium universal charger, and something happened. The phone won't recognize the battery now. it keeps telling me to use a genuine battery (wtf) and then it powers itself down. charged or not nothing is working. So i had the option of paying for a new battery - running the risk of it being the phones issue, Or I could order a free replacement phone comparable to mine but not the same one.

I ordered the new phone. I think my old one may have baked after 2 days at the beach. and NO it did not get wet. So no phone until Wednesday. House phone doesn't work... wire issues. Did i purchase the wire plan? No... does anyone? I went on and added it to my account on Thursday but need to wait a month or so before I call them to come out and fix it.

Don't like the idea of no phone in case of emergency - so now i need to go buy a burn phone.. oops I watch too many cop shows. I need to buy a cheapy pre-paid phone.So i can use it for 2 days. OY

Add to that the fact that my kitchen faucet sprung a leak. Not a drip from the faucet.. not a leak from the connection. Nooooo an actual leak - 4 pinholes where the faucet bends that have been worn there by time.

So when I turn on my kitchen sink it looks something liek this...

Only from the actual faucet -

See that red circle above in the picture? Right in the center of the circle is where the leaks are. Friggin squirting all over everything every time I turn it on.(LMAO just reread that sentence... giggling like a 12 year old boy.  such a dirty mind i have)

Anyway - i went and bought plumber's tape. didn't work. So I went and bought a brand new faucet. 30 bucks - not bad right?? Exact same as the original cause I ain't no plumber and I have no idea what I am doing.

Yeah ok now I get it... install it like this pic. No Problem. Jeesh! This is when I wish I had a man in my life. i am not so liberated that I wouldn't like to have a boyfriend specifically for this reason. So that I could tell him..."Honey - it broke - fix please" I mean for sex too and friendship and blah blah blah but fixing things would be really good.

I think my friend (with out benefits), Kent, would appreciate that as well. 

That is why we call him McGyver and I bet if he was down here, he would have fixed the damn faucet with a piece of gum, a ballpoint pen and a clothes pin or something. 

He's probably like - "Jesus woman - get a yourself a man to do this shit for you - i ain't sleeping with ya so whats my payback!" LOL Tho i did take him out for a big steak dinner. When I get more money I'll do something fun for him to pay him back for helping me so much. Of course he is a true, loved and treasured friend so he expects nothing for helping me - but still...

I know, i know "quit yer bitchin, you live at the beach" Not really bitching, more venting. And on that note...

The antihistamines are kicking in and I may actually be able to sleep now! Off I go to dream sweet dreams and hopefully enjoy the full air flow from my fan. No dog hair included! Thanks for listening! ~S

        

there's no place like home...

It's funny how quickly a place can feel like home. And how quickly a place that used to be home can feel like it belongs to someone else. That's a good thing tho...I missed my home, my beach house, the minute we we hit the first bend after the main drag. I wasn't going home, i was leaving it. And i didn't want to. Don't get me wrong - I was looking forward to seeing the kids and smooching my dog and seeing my parents and my friends, BUT I knew when I left, I was visiting West Chester... not going home to it. I notice my words have changed as well, I no longer say home when I am talking about the apartment and instead say it about my house in Rehoboth.


All of this is good stuff. It's transitional stuff that makes things go more smoothly. My love and excitement for my new home make it so I don't miss my old one quite as much. The idea that I won't see Kelly every day or my parents when I want doesn't hurt quite as much because I know that I am where I belong. It's like finding that missing puzzle piece and having it fit perfectly. 

All this time I thought my missing piece..or pieces, would be wrapped up in a man. I didn't feel complete because I was single. I had fallen in love a few times but it never worked out. Somewhere out there was the guy who would, in the words of Jerry McGuire, "Complete me". But what if this move, buying my own home, living at the beach on my own, is what completes me? What if the parts of my soul that I thought I needed to find in someone else, were really there all along. In the ocean and the sand and the cry of the seagulls and the smooth rocks on the shore?

What if I am still single, because the universe or God, felt that I needed to complete myself BEFORE I found someone to share my life with? Someone to compliment my life instead of completing it?


How many people can say they've figured it out? Found their BLISS? Completed themselves and are exactly where they are supposed to be? 

I am so blessed. So truly, truly blessed! 


"In this journey we call life, so many people search for something outside of themselves to complete their lives, complete their souls. What if we realized everything we need can be found within ourselves. It just has to be rearranged a bit to fit together and make us whole. Wouldn't that be the most wonderful thing?" ~Stacey Charter

Note to self: Just Breathe

Working my butt off trying to get everything done and it hits me...You own this place! What you don't get done today, this week, next week, you will have all the time in the world to finish.  Pretty awesome feeling if I do say so myself!


Sleeping on my queen size bed like a baby - even alone in the house. I haven't had the PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) bullshit pop up at all which, if you have read me for a while or you know me, is a huge huge thing. 

With my disorder , change can be an issue - especially a change that includes moving 2 hours away from everyone you know and love to live in a house you bought when you aren't even employed.

Part of me wonders why I am not huddled in a ball on the living room floor but then I realize, this is different. i am starting over and I am fantastic!


Finally got m cable hooked up so tonight I sat my butt down and watched a little C-Wench Anthony stuff, NCIS and My Phillies. YES! Worth every bit of pain in the butt stuff I went thru the past 2 days to get it.


Soon - i will have my car down here as well as my furniture. Then I will feel 100% like a beach person. Oh and maybe a trip to the beach would help too... LOL Yep - haven't seen the water yet but never fear, I will be there in the next few days. 


After all, I've got all the time in the world to get stuff done. 


Yep Life is Good!